ENGINEERING EXCELLENCE *Terms and conditions apply

BUDGET (USD)

*excluding safety gear

RACE HOURS

*survival not guaranteed

BRAVE SOULS

*questionable decisions

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WE DID IT (TECHNICALLY)

SEARS POINTLESS 2026

SONOMA RACEWAY | MARCH 21–22, 2026

STATUS: SURVIVED

DAY 1 — THE OPTIMISM PHASE

"We've got this." — Narrator: They did not, in fact, have this.

DAY 2 — THE RECKONING

Same car. More hope. Less respect for our lives.

RACE BY THE NUMBERS

A comprehensive audit of the damage

DAYS RACING

Both voluntary, somehow

DRIVERS

All returned alive

CONES MASSACRED

It had a family

MIRRORS BROKEN

Someone else's. Sorry.

TOWS OFF TRACK

The car needed a break too

BLACK FLAGS

Collecting them like Pokemon

Want lap times, sector splits, and proof we actually drove?

VIEW FULL RACE ANALYTICS →

SONOMA RACEWAY — RACE WEEK OPS

RACE WEEK

We're here. It's real. No turning back now.

PREP STATUS SYSTEMS: NOMINAL-ISH

BEAST ACQUIRED

CROSS-COUNTRY HAUL

ARRIVED IN SAN FRANCISCO We actually had to get work done

RACE PREP We've spent the vast majority of our time wrapping the car in vinyl — we think it runs

ARRIVE IN SONOMA

TECH INSPECTION

GREEN FLAG March 21, 9:00 AM PT

FROM THE PADDOCK

The Beast head-on with its googly eyes windshield shade

The Beast front quarter view with full livery

The Beast under the canopy getting prepped in Sonoma

Applying the wrap to The Beast late into the night

4OGS Racing livery closeup — the wrap is on

THE SQUAD

MEET THE TEAM

Four friends. One dream. Questionable mechanical skills.

ALEX

TEAM PRINCIPAL

"Someone has to make sure we actually show up with helmets."

1 Person who knows what's happening

100% Responsibility for this chaos

BRIAN

TECHNICAL DIRECTOR

"If it works, it works. Who cares if that's not the right part?"

100% Improvised part usage

73% Success rate (surprisingly)

JEFF

AERODYNAMICS ENGINEER

"I'm 80% sure I can make it. Maybe 70%. Actually, let me check my calendar..."

47 Conflicting commitments

TBD Actual attendance probability

BRYAN

PERFORMANCE ENGINEER

"I know Sonoma like the back of my hand... wait, we're getting on a real track?"

#1 Lap times on the sim

0.1% Chance of being fastest on track

VEHICLE SPECIFICATION

THE BEAST

A masterpiece of questionable decision-making

$500 OF PURE

PERFORMANCE*

*technically in Pittsburgh. Pretty sure someone picked up the uShip contract.

OFFICIAL SPECS

MAKE/MODEL 1995 Ford Probe

HORSEPOWER 200 HP

TOP SPEED 120ish MPH

0-60 MPH 8.1 seconds

RACE UPGRADES*

ROLL CAGE Don't want to test

FIRE SUPPRESSION 80% chance of accidental discharge

KILL SWITCH Mistaken for starter

RACE CLUTCH Can't heel-toe, may kill us

*Seller mentioned many other upgrades. We're assuming they're important.

LIVE TELEMETRY

PERFORMANCE DATA

Completely made-up numbers that look impressive

PREPARATION LEVELS

CONCERNINGLY LOW

We should probably go buy helmets

MECHANICAL KNOWLEDGE

MOSTLY COMPETENT

3 out of 4 ain't bad

CONFIDENCE LEVEL

UNWAVERING

Inversely correlated with actual competence

ACTUAL PACE

QUESTIONABLE

One of us is always faster in iRacing, but who knows if that matters

PIT STRATEGY ANALYSIS

LAP 1
Something breaks

LAP 15
Duct tape applied

LAP 42
Prayer break

LAP 88
More duct tape

LAP 143
Miracle occurs

OUR PARTNERS

GALLERY

Visual evidence of questionable decisions (more photos eventually)

THE LIVERY

Rendering for illustrative purposes only. Actual vehicle appearance may vary. Significantly. Like, 3 rattle cans from AutoZone significantly. But we can dream. (Yes, we know, it's a 1995...)

THE TEAM

Go on. You'd let them on the racetrack, wouldn't you?

THE BEAST

Our $500 chariot of questionable reliability. What it lacks in modern safety features, it makes up for in character and duct tape potential.

THE HELMET

Brian has solemnly vowed to make these helmets a reality. We admire the commitment, and frankly we're glad his OCD guarantees they'll actually get done.

RACE ACTION SHOTS
TBD (assuming we make it to the track)

TEAM UPDATES

NEWS

The latest questionable developments

NEW

March 14, 2026

NEW SPONSOR: THINGS 1-5 ARRIVE — BRIAN'S MOM CALLS US SLACKERS VIA OUR OWN CONTACT FORM

A group of sisters led by Brian's Mom. She used our contact page to call us slackers, then offered to flatbed The Beast cross-country herself. Legend status is too low for this woman.

NEW

March 14, 2026

NEW SPONSOR: RANDY ARRIVES WITH COOKIES, RADIO EXPERTISE, AND ZERO USABLE FREQUENCIES

One of the nicest humans alive. Showed up with Pammy Cookies, tried to solve our pit-to-driver comms with his radio knowledge, and when none of it worked out, we all just ate cookies instead.

NEW

March 14, 2026

NEW SPONSOR: 3 AMIGOS ARRIVE AND IMMEDIATELY COMPLAIN ABOUT TURNAROUND TIME

They sponsored us, then complained within an hour about not being on the website. One of them actually knows how to race. The other two are just good dudes. All three are impatient.

NEW

March 14, 2026

NEW SPONSOR: PURO PINCHES SERVICES CREW ROLLS UP — PHIL'S GHOST HAD OTHER PLANS

One of the guys who ghosted Phil wasn't sitting idle — he was rallying a crew. They demanded changes to the sponsorship program, came in on their own terms, and made Phil's solo act look like a warm-up round.

March 8, 2026

NEW SPONSOR: PHIL CARRIES TWO FREELOADERS TO DUCT TAPE DIAMOND

Phil was supposed to split a sponsorship three ways. The other two never Venmo'd, never sent cash, never did anything. So Phil did it himself. Because that's who Phil is.

March 8, 2026

NEW SPONSOR: SAYIAN_KILLA BELIEVES IN THE DREAM

He's dreamed of being a race car driver since he was 6. Found us on TikTok. Became our first Prayers & Pizza sponsor. We support this dream 1000%.

February 9, 2026

NEW SPONSOR: "I DIDN'T PUSH HIM," SAYS BRYAN'S SISTER

Bryan's Sister has joined 4OGS Racing as our first Rattle Can Gold Sponsor. The sponsorship appears to be motivated by a 1986 incident involving gravity, a child's face, and a disputed shove.

February 7, 2026

ACTUAL GEAR ACQUIRED: THIS MIGHT BE REAL

In a shocking display of competence, at least one team member now owns proper racing equipment. We even bought a spare HANS device because we're responsible like that.

February 5, 2026

OUR FIRST SPONSOR: $1 OF PURE BELIEF

Cowen Technologies has joined 4OGS Racing as our inaugural Puppers Platinum Sponsor with a generous donation of $1. It won't get us far, but we didn't even have to beg.

February 5, 2026

WE HAVE A CAR (ALMOST)

After extensive searching (and by extensive, we mean scrolling Facebook Marketplace for 3 hours), we've acquired a 1995 Ford Probe. It's currently in Pittsburgh, and we're pretty sure someone picked up the uShip contract.

💎 NEW: Things 1-5 sponsor — Brian's Mom used our contact form to call us slackers, then offered to haul The Beast herself | 🍕 NEW: Randy joins as Prayers & Pizza sponsor — brought cookies, radio expertise, and zero usable frequencies | 💎 NEW: Things 1-5 sponsor — Brian's Mom used our contact form to call us slackers, then offered to haul The Beast herself | 🍕 NEW: Randy joins as Prayers & Pizza sponsor — brought cookies, radio expertise, and zero usable frequencies

ENGINEERING EXCELLENCE *Terms and conditions apply

RACE WEEK

MEET THE TEAM

ALEX

BRIAN

JEFF

BRYAN

THE BEAST

OFFICIAL SPECS

RACE UPGRADES*

PERFORMANCE DATA

PREPARATION LEVELS

MECHANICAL KNOWLEDGE

CONFIDENCE LEVEL

ACTUAL PACE

PIT STRATEGY ANALYSIS

SPONSORS

GALLERY

NEWS

NEW SPONSOR: THINGS 1-5 ARRIVE — BRIAN'S MOM CALLS US SLACKERS VIA OUR OWN CONTACT FORM

NEW SPONSOR: RANDY ARRIVES WITH COOKIES, RADIO EXPERTISE, AND ZERO USABLE FREQUENCIES

NEW SPONSOR: 3 AMIGOS ARRIVE AND IMMEDIATELY COMPLAIN ABOUT TURNAROUND TIME

NEW SPONSOR: PURO PINCHES SERVICES CREW ROLLS UP — PHIL'S GHOST HAD OTHER PLANS

NEW SPONSOR: PHIL CARRIES TWO FREELOADERS TO DUCT TAPE DIAMOND

NEW SPONSOR: SAYIAN_KILLA BELIEVES IN THE DREAM

NEW SPONSOR: "I DIDN'T PUSH HIM," SAYS BRYAN'S SISTER

ACTUAL GEAR ACQUIRED: THIS MIGHT BE REAL

OUR FIRST SPONSOR: $1 OF PURE BELIEF

WE HAVE A CAR (ALMOST)